What it’s Like Being Married to a Writer

On this day in 2014 I published Saturday Selects: Tattoos Becoming “Mainstream?”.

Okay. I obviously have no experience with the whole marriage thing, thankfully. But I came across an article that seems to explain what it would be like to be married to a writer. At least it seems reasonable enough to me.

What do I think it would be like to be married to a writer? Honestly, not much different from being married to any other person. I think you’d be asked to read really rough drafts of stories. I think there’d be some personal details of your life in their stories, whether you like it or not. And I think you’d constantly be asked random questions that almost bewilder you because you can’t imagine ever considering your response before being asked. And…that’s about it. I don’t think it would be any better or worse than being married to someone in another profession. But that’s just me, and I know nothing.

I came across this article that inspired this post.

What do you think? You’re probably a writer, what’s it like being married to you?


19 thoughts on “What it’s Like Being Married to a Writer

  1. Being a writer wife, I just want to say that the writer wife in that article seems to not appreciate or respect her non-white husband very much.

    I don’t let anyone but my mother read very rough drafts. In fact, my husband has yet to read one of my novels. I won’t let him until they’re closer to the finished product.

    Since I write Fantasy, very little of our daily lives and fiascos appear on the page. He’s in every story, usually as a witty, sarcastic side character, but by the end of the draft the character has grown and become their own person.

    I think my husband’s biggest complaint about being married to a writer is my distractedness and the endless piles of books and papers around the apartment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I found this post, and I happened to read your comment. This perfectly describes my marriage with my husband. lol. I now have a whole office though, even if I mainly take my laptop wherever he is when he’s home, that way we can spend time together.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Well I think the article was written with plenty of sarcasm and humor.

      Does she write? Or is she just your go-to person to give you feedback?

      Books, paper, and distractedness? Doesn’t seem too bad.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My mom is a good ‘general masses’ filter. She reads a lot of things that I don’t, but tends to enjoy the more popular trends in fiction. She’s also an ego booster, because she always loves everything I write. That’s why she gets rough drafts, because she encourages me to keep going, without being critical. It’s later drafts that I let others read to get more specific and critical feedback. And that’s probably why my husband hasn’t read anything yet; his good opinion means the most.


  2. I think my husband imagined that when he retired we’d spend more time together. So did I. But now that he has retired, I’m on the computer all the time. Meals are uncertain. I lose track of time. Or perhaps I never had track of time. We eat thrown together dinners that are always later than any of us would like. At least we eat them together after having spent most days on our separate endeavors. So far I haven’t written anything with him in it, but I’m imagining a future series about a dockworker and I think he could help out there. He’s a retired marine clerk. He enjoys telling me about his perspective on how the harbor works. We could have long conversations over coffee while I listen in rapt attention to every detail of how they stack the cargo containers or house the giant rolls of newsprint.


    • Haha so you retire and instead of all that time you thought you’d have…you’re just writing more? That’s reasonable. Start writing that new series. I bet it’d be interesting for you both.


  3. I can only imagine the paradise that my wife lives in being married to me. It must be like like winning the lottery every day while riding a unicorn on a rainbow. I envy her, I really, really, do.


  4. Some of the things you listed are pretty true for my partner and I, although I won’t let him read really rough drafts – he gets the same drafts as the rest of my betas when I reach that step in the process. And truthfully, he seems pretty meh about my stories, so I’m probably not going to bother forcing drafts on him anymore. I’ll just give him the book when it’s done.

    Other things he has to deal with: me bouncing ideas off him when I get stuck, me ignoring him for a few hours every week while I focus on my laptop, me filling our house with books from the used bookstore about whatever topic I’m writing about, and yeah, me including some elements of his life or his personality in the fiction. He was telling me last night about some inheritance pact his grandmother and uncle have that involves Opus Dei, and I’m like “wow, I should make that into a script and send it to Wes Anderson.” Also, writers by nature can be flaky and forgetful, which I am in spades, so that’s probably the worst thing he has to put up with.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think you are right, John. It’s probably like being married to anyone else, unless the writer becomes famous, a can of worms we all seem willing to risk. The article was hilarious. I enjoyed it. Do you think that crazy stuff really happens? If it does, I’m glad I’m not married to a writer. Blessings to you…


  6. Oh god, I honestly pity the fool that marries this hot mess that is I. He’ll be in for a treat. From three am talks in the kitchen (or possibly sitting on the roof… I’m an adventurous and rebellious kind of gal) while wearing our pjs and drinking hot cocoa. And we would talk about so much— from our hopes to our dreams (there is a difference) to our fears to our nightmares to our pasts to the hopeful future— all of it and more.
    And then there’s the constant updates and reviewing of my work. Be ready for me to shake you awake at two am and then shove my laptop in your face yelling, “READ AND CRITIQUE THIS FOR ME NOW”.
    And then there’s the constant need for coffee, green tea, and loud fluff punk rock pop music. This means Fall Out Boy, 5 Seconds of Summer, Green Day, Bastille— being married to this aspiring writer means you learn the lyrics (words) to my favourite songs. And don’t expect to have your wifey cooking you some apple pies anyone soon– there is potato soup and store bought oven fries. And soda. So much soda.
    And then, because of my need to include everyone in my books, get ready for breakdowns. And a lot of them. Get ready for me sobbing to you in the middle of us watching Disney/Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings movies because I can’t describe the way the lamp light brightens the colour of you eyes and the way you hair curls just barely so at the nape of you neck. Be prepared for me screaming and yelling at you to not touch or talk to me because someone who inspired me died. Be ready for overly expressive emotions, constant rants and need for more books and notebooks, light saber battles, and empty Starbucks cups lying around and littering the house– oh and be ready for me taking naps and whining when I wake up and you’re not cuddling with me.
    Thanks for reading.
    Best of luck,
    The Time Traveling Writer.

    P.s. When I said “you”, believe I was using the royal “you”. Not trying to pressure anyone into anything, heh heh. But seriously, just giving my view on what it’d be like being married to me; but it could change some in future. I am only thirteen.

    Liked by 1 person

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