The Diary of an Unhappy Nobody: Day 10

In only 13 days I’m visiting a new city and state. But I’m a planner when it comes to my trips. The expectation is to take another trip in August, but there’s one question that needs answering: WHERE TO NEXT?

I don’t currently hold a passport. Domestically there are still many places I want to see. But I’m the typical American in at least one regard. I want to make my way through Europe. My prelimunary thoughts on the topic have not done much to aid in my decision making. These are the cities I’ve considered: London, Madrid, Barcelona, Paris, Rome, Vienna, Amsterdam. London and Rome are at the top of the list. Now you help me decide where to go.

I’ve also thought of Sydney and Tokyo. Here in the US I still have LA, NYC, Grand Canyon, Alaska, Orlando, San Francisco, Atlanta, and Philadelphia on my list.

A little help, please?

The Diary of an Unhappy Nobody: Day 9

This will be a bit on the lighthearted side.

I’ve always loved naps. Any time of day. Any day of the week. My only real requirement in recent years has been that I must be in my own bed. Exceptions for travel, but I’ve never fallen asleep on a flight and I couldn’t tell you when I last fell asleep in the car.

My typical work shift ends at 7:00 pm. By about 7:40 last night I was home on the couch watching TV. By about 8:15 I felt like a sleepy puppy who couldn’t keep my eyes open. I finally gave up right around 9:00 and went to bed.

The moral of the story is that I’m an old man in a 26-year-old body. None of this has anything to do with my recent posts. I just love sleep, and clearly need it.

Also, I’m writing this just after midnight now. Pretty sure I’ll be up until dawn. Late naps turn me into a nocturnal vampire. I’m even about to eat now. 😂

The Diary of an Unhappy Nobody: Day 8

In exactly 15 days I’m supposed to be getting on a plane to Chicago for a week. When I started planning this I’d never heard the term “bomb cyclone” and 90% of the country didn’t just freeze over. But the weather is the least of my concerns.

I told y’all in my 2017 recap post about downloading dating apps last Spring while still on my last vacation. And now I’m doing it again. Going on a trip alone. My time in Boston last year was spectacular, but man, I’m not sure this is the best time for me to embark on a new solo adventure. I’m not sure any time soon would be a good time for it. I mean, what good is it to go to another city and state in the middle of winter just to feel even worse than I already do?

Unfortunately, I think it’s a real possibility I have an extraordinary time in Chicago only to find myself more lonely than ever before. But I won’t let that stop me.

So many people have no ability to travel at all and here I am. This will be my fourth trip in the last 20 months. Sure, I’m not the happiest I could be right now, but that’s okay. There are people struggling with depression. People contemplating suicide. People being bullied on a daily basis. People who don’t know how they’re going to pay their bills. People fighting terminal illness. I’m just a little unhappy and sad.

If all the people in the world who fall into any one of those categories can continue living each of their lives the best they can, then of course I can too. And that’s why I’m going to Chicago.

The Diary of an Unhappy Nobody: Day 7

A few months ago I was introduced to Friends for the first time. Save your shock. I’ve heard it already.

I’ve been using the show as I work through my own personal things. When I’m feeling really down I’ll watch a few episodes. When I’m lonely I turn it on because I’m always laughing when I watch. Yesterday I started season 9 of 10. I’ll likely be finished by the time I return from my trip the last week of January.

This is becoming bittersweet. I’m curious to see how everyone ends up, but I really don’t want the show to end for me. I know it actually ended almost 15 years ago, but this is all still the first time for me.

I’ll just have to find something or someone else to turn to when I need to. I’m open to suggestions.

The Diary of an Unhappy Nobody: Day 4

I read something in the NYT recently that I found rather interesting. The writer vowed not to buy any materialistic items for a calendar year.

It sounds overdramatic when you just read that sentence, but I found her reasoning to be rational. I found the article compelling.

In an effort to improve myself, in association with being a more giving person in 2018, I’m going to challenge myself to do the same thing. What’s excluded from my personal challenge will be any kind of food, hygiene items, and souvenirs from when I travel since those items support museums and parks I visit.

I’m also making a one time exception for clothing this month because I’m headed to Chicago and I just don’t have the wardrobe needed for the trip. That’s it.

I already spend so little of my money that I don’t foresee this adding thousands of dollars to my various accounts, but at the end of 2018 I’ll decipher my savings throughout the year and make an additional charitable contribution on top of my monthly donations.

The Diary of an Unhappy Nobody: Day 3

I said yesterday that I’d tell y’all about the first organization I’ll be donating to this year in my yearlong effort to be more giving.

But first I need to tell you why.

Last April I purchased a new vehicle. Fully electric. Why? Because I believe every one of us should do what we can to preserve and protect our planet. But circumstances forced me to purchase a gas powered vehicle a week ago. I’m not one bit happy about it.

What I know is scientists working in many different fields are constantly coming up with technologies or improving processes to protect and preserve the earth. Scientists are working to save your planet even if you refuse to “believe” in climate change. It might be funny if it wasn’t so serious.

The first organization I’ll be supporting in 2018 will be the Houston Museum of Natural Science. I love museums more than any person I know. But it’s so much more than that. When huge swaths of the population claim not to “believe” in climate change or evolution it just leaves one questioning where the hell we are and how we got here.

HMNS is an incredible place of scientific knowledge. Scientific fact. Scientific history. Scientific education. 

The Diary of an Unhappy Nobody: Day 1

I have no idea what I’m doing. But I know I’m extremely unhappy. So I’m going to write about things.

It doesn’t matter much how or why I’ve reached this point. What matters is what happens going forward.

I’ve been given the opportunity to work from home full time. With that a big raise would also come because of the change in hours. But one of the things driving my constant unhappiness is the fact that I have no friends. I have no relationships I’m building. Which makes this decision more difficult because my coworkers are beyond great. I’m afraid that if I work from home full time and eliminate that interaction with them I may end up feeling much worse.

What would I do with more money? I’d invest more in my 401k. I’d invest more with my brokerage account. I’d give more to charity. And I’d plan a third trip in 2018.

Guys, I don’t know what to do. I know we don’t know each other on a personal level and I’ve been absent from here for a long time, but I could really use some help.

2017: A Lifechanging Year

Guys, let’s pretend I didn’t disappear.

2017 took me from one adventure to the next and 2018 will likely astonish me in ways I haven’t even thought of yet. I have to do this month by month. Let’s begin.

January

This was probably the lowest point of my entire life. I was unemployed and I’d worked through all of the money I’d saved up from my previous employment. I was completely lost and had no idea what to do.

Things change so rapidly, though. About halfway through the month I got the one call I’d been waiting for. Travelers. I’d interviewed 12/23 and thought it went well. I had about a month before the start date.

February

Started at Travelers on February 9. It’s been amazing since day 1. But only a few days after starting my dog Charlie attacked one of my other dogs. I got rid of him the next day. I also cried like a baby. He didn’t even look back when they took him from me.

March

A relatively quiet month. I finished my new hire training on the last day of the month, which meant the following Monday I’d finally be on my own at work.

April

The long baseball season begins! The Astros seemed poised for a great year. I embark on my first solo trip to Boston. An unbelievable experience I simply can’t put into words. But the trip told me something about myself I hadn’t yet known. I wanted someone to share everything with. I was having such a great time on vacation until I realized about halfway through that I was still alone. I had no one to share the amazing experience with. While still in Boston I downloaded Bumble, OkCupid, and Coffee Meets Bagel. Dating apps. I had no idea what to expect. I also bought my first car all on my own!

May

Another relatively quiet month UNTIL IT WASN’T. Those dating apps I’d downloaded? I’d found someone. We talked on the app for awhile and then started texting. After another little while we met in person at HALF PRICE BOOKS. Because I’M STILL ME. We had lunch. We completed a puzzle with a bear on it. It was so great. I was immediately drawn to her wonderful laugh and smile. They’re still magnetic to me.

On May 25 we became a couple. Ol’ ordinary me and oh so amazing her.

June

Many of my coworkers were going on trips and I was just chugging along at work. But I had my worst month (performance-wise) of my time with Travelers. But the beauty of working for such a great company is my manager had my back. She didn’t ask me to do anything drastic because she believed in me.

July

I easily got back on track at work. There wasn’t too much going on.

August

I began to realize my relationship with my girlfriend was really in trouble, but remember how amazing I said she was? Yeah, still thought that in August. Couldn’t just give up.

Hurricane Harvey devastated the city of Houston. My city. My hometown. I didn’t flood, but I missed 10 straight days of work. JJ Watt showed what can happen when everyone gets behind something bigger than one person or one team or one city.

September

Immediately after Hurricane Harvey I was selected to help train a large class of new hires. Something only the top reps in the office are considered for. I finished the quarter ending in September as one of the top reps in the company. I signed my first apartment lease! I’d finally be on my own for the first time. 

October

My relationship ended, but my opinion of the girl hasn’t changed. She’s an amazing person. I dont know if she sees it, but I do. The new hire class ended their training at the end of the month. I moved into my first apartment on 10/21. I took 9 days off from work and realized how lonely I really was. I’d underestimated what it would be like to live alone after nearly 26 years of living with my family.

November

THE ASTROS WON THE WORLD SERIES! THEY DID IT! During game 6 of the World Series I went back home to be with my parents if the Astros won. They didn’t. In game 7 they took an early lead and held on to win the first title in team history. I watched with my parents and we all cried. It was incredible to see these guys we’d been supporting all season with HOUSTON in their name winning the final game of the greatest series I’ve ever seen. I attended my first championship parade.

December

Not much happened until the end of the month. My apartment complex told me that the garage I rent from them cannot handle the electricity needed to charge my car. I was/am furious. But I had no other option. The car I only just purchased in April was traded in for a new, gas powered vehicle. I spent my birthday (12/27) more angry than I’ve been in years.

I’m still really lonely. I know people are dealing with way worse things, but I still want someone who wants to share all of their experiences with me. Someone to travel with. Someone to grow with. Someone to wake up next to. Heck, maybe someone to fall in *love* with. 

I’m starting to think I’m Chandler from Friends. I have a good job no one pays attention to. I have money saved up I can’t even spend. I can’t dance at all. I laugh at my terrible jokes. And I’m sometimes overly awkward. I’m me. Just looking for my Monica. I think I know where she is. 🤔

I’m still angry about my car. But in 2017 I learned so much about myself. I’m proud of who I’ve become. I’m proud of where I am. And I’m excited for 2018. I invite you on that journey with me. Come along. Stick around. Pet the dog. Sit back and watch.

I Didn’t Die

I’d been on a nice stretch of consistently posting leading up to this month. I think I’d posted everyday of the year. Then I realized I just wanted to take a break. Without having to write anything on here. So that’s what I did. I took a break. I’ll be getting back into my groove here now. But in anything you do don’t be afraid to take a step back every once in awhile.